Do You Have Intimacy In Marriage Issues?
Many couples find that their lack of intimacy in marriage has drastically decreased through the years. Dating was probably a courtship of constant excitement and mystery but what happens once there is no mystery and you spend every day and night together?
Intimacy in marriage seems to be a bigger complaint with wives than with the husbands. For most young women, marriage is a vision of a paradise of love, passion and intimacy. Although most do realize that the romantic flame may dwindle a little, most do not expect it to simply disappear completely.
A lack of intimacy in marriage can be very humiliating, depressing and frustrating for wives that desire to feel the connection that can only come from physical intimacy.
Sadly, most women that have a lack of intimacy in marriage tend to blame themselves, aging, or their body for the problem. This puts a huge emotional strain on the woman and on the relationship. However, a good portion of the time, the intimacy in marriage problem has nothing to do with the wife at all.
Causes
For those of you women that assume that the lack of intimacy in marriage that you are experiencing is because of you, you need to give your husband the benefit of the doubt. Chances are very good that he has not noticed those five pounds you have gained or the wrinkles around your eyes.
Quite often, things that are having an impact on your husband's sex drive can have nothing to do with you at all.
- Stress – Work, social life, family and finances can put a great amount of stress on a man that can really interfere with intimacy. Try talking with your husband, sometimes it may be hard to get to the root of the problem but if you dig away at him, as a friend, you may find the answers that you are looking for.
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Fear – There are many thoughts that go through a man's mind to make them fear intimacy. It could be past sexual encounters, embarrassment, health issues or many anxiety disorders.
- Boredom – Having a routine in life and in the bedroom can ultimately lead to having no intimacy in marriage. Sometimes a weekend away or even a night at a nice hotel together can help get the spark back.
- Resentment – Unfortunately, many men harbor resentment towards marriage. Maybe they thought they were ready or they were trying to do the right thing or maybe they felt pressured. This does not necessarily mean that they are unhappy, just that they are having a hard time dealing with internal issues.
Acknowledge The Problem
You need to sit down and discuss your lack of intimacy in marriage with your partner in a kind way. Do not argue or pass blame, this is meant to be a helpful conversation. There are three goals in this conversation.
- Identify the reason why you are lacking in intimacy.
- Work together to come up with some type of plan with well defined responsibilities and roles.
- Make a decision of what is going to ultimately happen if things do not improve.
Light The Spark
To raise the level of intimacy in marriage that you experience as a couple, invest in a few things that will help light the spark back up.
- Invest in lingerie.
- Redecorate your bedroom and be sure to add some candles or aromatherapy products.
- Buy some new exotic smelling lotions to wear, especially before going to bed.
- Look at yourself. Are you in the best shape that you can be in? Could you eat a little healthier and exercise a little more? Sometimes fixing a problem is as simple as looking in a mirror.